THE FIRST OBSTACLE

It doesn’t matter that I have been evaluating businesses and the people running them for close to two decades, there’s one thing that always seems to be the first obstacle.  

When I agreed to take on a Coaching role with 75+ real estate agents across 3 states, it's best practice for me to touch base with each person and discuss their current state of affairs.  Establishing the gap is a primary skill in this work and this week hasn’t been any different.  Maybe this is why we naturally hide from a coaching relationship?  Nobody wants to know there’s a gap between where they are and where they want to be.  If you’re like me, you want the direct path.  I’m not really interested in knowing about the chasm between here and there.  So what is that first obstacle you ask?  
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Let’s first talk about what it’s not.  It’s rarely ever an issue of ambition, motivation, or flexibility.

Take less than 3 minutes on social media and you’ll see plenty of society flaunting their ambition.   We all want better things for ourselves so the desire is there and yet we see similar results over and over.  

Motivation?  You would think that the pain of crushing debt, unbearable employment, physical pain, etc… would be motivating enough.  Apparently not.  We all know there’s danger in being perpetually disturbed and yet we would rather numb the pain than actually get rid of it.  

Flexibility isn’t an issue either.  Today, more than ever, society has less and less shame around changing our approach on how we live our lives.  Being rigid isn’t an issue like it was just 30 years ago, let alone 100 years ago.  We change our minds about as often as we change our underwear or oil filters, depending on how painful the subject.  Let’s be honest, most of us have the attention span of a gnat (reference the previous post) and we would rather change our approach than actually stick through something slightly difficult.  

Really though, the most common stumbling point in the beginning is Direction.  Take a look at this diagram below.  Notice that the path to purpose begins at the base.

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The fundamental phase is Direction which is established with focus and outcome… and usually the challenge lies more in the outcome than the focus.  By that, I mean, it’s super hard to focus when there is no clearly defined outcome.  

Here’s some examples of answers I get to my general question “what would you like to see happen this year (or quarter, month, etc…)?”  

• I want to make more than last year
• More money
• Better relationships
• More consistency
• I’m not really sure
• Do my best
• Do better with my schedule
• Make more calls

I suppose you get the point.  Here’s what I have to ask each situation: 

• “Do you know how much you made last year?”  Yes, I have to ask that question.  You’d be surprised how many don’t track their income except for when they file taxes.  
• “How much is ‘more money’ to you?” 
• “How would you know if you had ‘better relationships’?”
• “What specifically should be more consistent?”
• This answer is probably the most honest answer I get. 
• “How would you know if you did your best?”
• “If you did better with your schedule, what would that do for you?” 
• “How many calls is considered more?”  - side note, many times we feel like we should do more of something specific without actually knowing how much we’re already doing.  In the case of phone calls, it could be that this person is making plenty and just struggling with getting results from them.  

Beyond just quantifying the outcome, I find that I get much better results when its juicy.  By “juicy”, I mean the outcome emotionally moves me.  So if my client clarifies an outcome and it doesn’t emotionally move them, it’s dead before it even gets started.  In coaching circles, we call that a compelling future.  Like I heard Jim Rohn say once, “when the why is big enough, the how is easy”.  

Amazingly, when the Champion’s focus is placed on a Qualified outcome, the direction is set and so is the foundation for growth. 


Keep well and keep moving forward, 
​Spencer